Feature-a-Blog

Today I will begin my feature-a-blog updates. Whenever I make a post I will feature a blog, big or small, that deserves appreciation for doing a great job. When I first started Fixing Friendships, I had a lot of trouble attracting traffic. In fact, I still do! Feature-a-blog will help writers who have nice blogs get a few more viewers. My first blog: BermudaOnion. This blog is great. Both well-written and thoughtful, BermudaOnion has it all. This blog is mainly about reviewing books and movies, though a couple of fun adventures make its way into the posts. I found it through a GREAT summary of Milo: Sticky Notes and Brain Freeze by Alan Siberberg. Not only did the writer post a comment on my site (Sike!), but she writes openly and has good taste. Raving reviews all the way!

Click on!

~Aurora

 

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Moving Problems

Let’s face it. When someone moves away, it sucks. If you don’t know someone very well nothing really happens. But, if you have a best bud that moves somewhere exotic and far away, the world seems like it’s about to end… But does it? No. Life goes on as usual, except for the screaming absence of this person. When tackled with this emotion at school, I embrace it. The second I know that a good friend is moving, it’s all business. Where are they going? Is it different? When are they leaving? Why? How can I keep in touch? By keeping myself busy with being chipper, “Omigosh we could be pen pals!” I forget the bare, grey truth: They are leaving and I probably will never see them again. I’m not saying I’m a perfect little angel who does everything right. I don’t. But, by having a good attitude, I influence the friend to seeing it from a new angle. This all relates to you, dear reader. I bet soon someone will move. It’s a natural thing, the going and coming of new people. I suggest embracing it. If you refuse to believe that your friend goes
away, it will feel even emptier when they go, because, trust me, they will go. I know how good it feels to “know” that your friend IS NOT moving even when they obviously are, in the long run this will work against you. Suddenly, the day after they left, you want their email. You need desperately to Skype. Facebook. Phone number! By acknowledging beforehand the ugly truth, you are not only helping them, but yourself. So next time a friend is moving, grab a pen and paper and get to work!

Be yourself.

Love,

Aurora

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Sucky Friends

Dear Aurora,
My friends are jerks. They won’t let me sit with new friends and they don’t like any of my other friends. My (jerk) friends hate my  other friends.
-Sucky Friends

 

Dear Sucky Friends,

How do you know that your old friends hate your new ones? Have you asked? Don’t make assumptions in friendships. This almost always leads to arguments that could, potentially, lose your friendship. I think that you should get all your friends together and state your problem. Who knows? Maybe your old friends think something completely opposite of what you think. If you’re nervous to talk to a big group of people, go one on one, no matter how long it takes. Not only can you fix this dilemma, but you will build stronger friendships in the process. Thanks for writing in!

-Aurora

 

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Advice Time

Now I have my first problem. I have not edited this at all:

Hi Aurora. I have a question. A number of years ago I moved to a new state, just a few hours from where I used to live. I used to go back and visit my old friends several times a year, and stay with them at their houses. It was really great and we have remained terrific friends over the years.

But, they rarely ever make the trip to visit ME and my family. It is just a few hours by car but one family has never, ever come up to visit, despite repeated invitations. Another friend does come but not nearly as frequently.

Sometimes I feel like I care more about my friends than they do about me. It used to hurt my feelings that they wouldn’t make the trip. Now I hardly ever go visit anymore. I don’t like losing friends because people aren’t willing to make the effort to stay connected. Do you have any advice for me?

Thanks,
A Faraway Friend

Dear A Faraway Friend,

This is a tough case because you have invited them multiple times. The best thing to do right now is get on the phone or webcam, and talk. Make sure they really understand this is important to you. No friend is worth losing to distance, no matter how large. Make sure you are open in the conversation, or things could get ugly. But that doesn’t mean buying into their excuses, either. What I would recomend is clearly stating the problem. Then ask what they think, and move on. Arranging for them to come over this weekend, or whatever time works for you is a good problem solver. This should be the main point of the conversation. Remember, go to people with solutions, not problems and you’ll get a lot more done. I hope you get to see them soon and mend your fraying friendship.

-Aurora

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I’m so proud!

Today, I walked past the popular girls. Normally, I think, Why aren’t they talking to me? What’s that difference between them and me? I want to be INCLUDED!  But today, I just didn’t care. There is such a difference. I realized I didn’t want to be included with them. Those girls are not as good as my friends. They will never be my friends. And, I’m okay with that. If fact, that is exactly what I want. I don’t need to change myself to fit in. I have my own place, my own life. Those girls have no power unless I give it to them. Now when I look at the lunchroom and at my table, I see different groups. I don’t see the A table, the B table, the C table. I look at people and I don’t give them labels. Today was monumental in my journey of growing stronger. The next step is to not care what people I don’t like or know, think of me. I should define me, not my peers. This is awesome. Right now I am brimming with unheard advice, so if you have any problems or questions, tell me in the comments!

-Aurora

By the way, if you want a good laugh check out Cake Wrecks, or, for a little more adult content (I mean cussing, basically) look at Hyperbole and a Half. These are guaranteed for a smile!

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My Middle Name is Advice

That is so true. It would be awesome if I could put my middle name to use. I love having a blog, but I need interaction. And I KNOW you are looking at this. I couldn’t have logged in and out 17 times in one day (could I?). So please, if you have any kind of friend problem, send it in a comment OR to my e-mail (it will get posted on my blog but I’ll change all names): fixingfriendships@hotmail.com. Thanks for reading!

~Aurora

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We Need Something Special

Hmm… I need something special to really get all of this going. This is what I think these words mean:

Friend: Someone you can have fun with. You can call them during the hours 10-8 but not really all the time. You don’t get in huge fights, but when you do bicker, it’s about small things.

Best Friend: They are the first person you think of when someone says, “Best friend”. You do tons together and they are almost like a sibling sometimes. You can call them at 3 in the morning and they don’t care. It’s never too late or too early to give them a ring! When you fight, you might not talk to each other for days, or a matter of minutes. This person rocks your world!

I hope you were thinking of a certain person when you read these. Whenever you’re fighting with someone, it’s important to always remember the good moments, not concentrate on the bad ones. Do you think these are accurate? Tell me in the comments!

~Aurora

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